


Can't Say Love

by hatethesilence312



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Drabble, Established Relationship, I guess that's what this is, M/M, SO, Standard Kate Argent Warning, i guess, kind of, like Derek thinks about Kate, mentions of past emotional abuse, past emotional trauma?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 14:48:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1121124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hatethesilence312/pseuds/hatethesilence312
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek can’t say it, but he thinks Stiles knows anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Say Love

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this came from, I typically don't write short things. Maybe something like this exists already that I read a long time ago and was in the back of my mind? I don't know.  
> and maybe a little inspired by (and definitely named after) Can't Say Love by Hunter Hayes. Which is a good song you should definitely listen to.

Derek can’t say _I love you._

            It’s the cause of falling too hard too fast and getting burned in the past. Every time he told Kate he loved her, she’d sneer at him and go, “of course you do.” She never said it back, and it took time, but Derek understands now that what was between them wasn’t love.

            He knows it’s different with Stiles. He knows Stiles would never hurt him, that Stiles genuinely cares about him. And Stiles _has_ told Derek he loves him, and Derek’s throat had closed up and it felt like something was squeezing his heart and he’d grabbed Stiles and hauled him in and kissed him hard.

            Derek can’t say _I love you,_ but he thinks Stiles knows anyway.

            He can’t say _I love you_ , but he drives Stiles to and from school while his Jeep is in the shop.

            He can’t say _I love you_ , but he helps Stiles through his hangover the morning after his mother’s birthday.

            He can’t say _I love you_ , but he sits in the graveyard on a cold night for hours while Stiles talks to his mom.

            He can’t say _I love you_ , but he goes to family dinners every Sunday with the Sheriff.

            He can’t say _I love you,_ but he replaces the Sheriff’s bullets with wolfsbane ones while he is asleep at night.

            He can’t say _I love you,_ but he falls asleep first around Stiles sometimes. He knows Stiles doesn’t realize how monumental that is, because he’s human and doesn’t think twice about trusting people while he’s that vulnerable. But it means something to Derek.

            He can’t say I love you, but he beats the shit out of a stranger on the street who yells homophobic slurs at them when they pass him.

            He can’t say _I love you_ , but he gives Stiles a key to his place and tells him he doesn’t need to ask to come over anymore.

            He can’t say _I love you,_ but he does say _I trust you._

            He can’t say _I love you,_ but one day he will.

            There was a close encounter with the latest monster of the week, and Stiles ended up getting impaled on a tree branch. He survived, but not without serious injuries. He was laying on his bed with his whole torso wrapped in bandages and an ice pack against his concussed head and Derek realized that their time together might be limited. He still couldn’t say _I love you,_ but he had to say something.

            “You’re everything I never thought I would be able to have.”  He’d said instead, and Stiles’ expression had softened and he kissed Derek for a long moment and then began pressing kisses all over his face, murmuring “I love you too, I love you too.”

            So, no, Derek can’t say _I love you._ But he can say and do things that help Stiles know what he means. He can’t say the words, but Stiles gets it.

            One day he will tell Stiles he loves him, and he knows that Stiles will say it back and his heart will be steady because he won’t be lying. For the first time in Derek’s life, he’ll love someone who loves him back and who is _good_ for him, and he’ll be happy.

            But in the mean time, he’ll just have to hold Stiles through his panic attacks and put himself in between Stiles and their attackers and know that Stiles knows. He’ll get there someday, and he knows Stiles will wait for him.

 


End file.
